(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Someone and I were just laughing about what people call masturbation.

If your human you must have done it once and if your like me you've lost count:derp:

It probably has more names than any other act.

What's your favorite or funniest ??

My funniest is: Calling down for more Mayo
and for women it has to be: Dousing the digits.:embarrassed:

Sausagefeast.

Answer the Bone-A-Phone Play Pocket Pool
Assault on a Friendly Weapon Play the Organ
Backstroke Roulette Play the Pisser
Baiting your Hook Play the Piss Pipe
Batting Practice Play the Skin Flute
Bash The Candle Play the Stand-Up Organ
Beat Off Playing With the Snake
Beating the Bait Playing Your Instrument
Beating the Bishop Play With Yourself
Beating the Dummy Pocket Pinball
Beating the Snake Pocket Pool
Beating the Stick Polish the Chrome Dome
Beating your Meat Polish the Rocket
Being your Own Best Friend Polish the Sword
Bleed the Weed Polish your Bayonet
Blow Your Load Polish your Helmet
Bludgeon the Beefsteak Popping the Porpoise
Boppin' your Bologna Popping The Purple Pimple
Buckin' it Pound Off
Buffing the Banana Pound Your Flounder
Buffing the Wood Pound Your Piss Pump
Burping the Worm Pounding your Pud
Butter Your Corn Pudwhacking
Calling Down For More Mayo Pud Wrestling
Calling All Cum Puddin'
Carrying Weight Pull the Root
Cast Off Pulling The Wire
Changing your Oil Pulling Your Goalie
Charm the Cobra Pull Off
Choaking Charlie 'till He Throws Up Pulling The Piss Pump
Choke Kojak Pull the Pole
Choke your Chicken Pull the Pope
Civil War Pull Your Pud
Cleaning out your Rope Pull your Taffy
Clean the Pipes Pumping For Pleasure
Clean your Rifle Pumping For Power
Clubbing Eddy Pump the Python
Couch Hockey for One Punchin' The Clown
Cracking the Fat Punchin' The Munchkin
Crank the Shank Punishing Percy
Cranking Punishing the Bishop
Cranking For Cum Ram the Ham
Crank Your Cordiano Ride the Great White Knuckler
Crown the King Rolling The Fleshy Blunt
Cuff the Carrot Roman Helmet Rhumba
Cuffing the Puppy Ropin' the Long Horn
Cum The Scum Rope the Pony
Custer's Last Stand Roughing up the Suspect
Date Miss Michigan Rounding Up the Tadpoles
Date Mother Palm and Her Five Daughters Routin' for the Yankees
Devil's Handshake (Catholic School) Rub One Out
Diddle Rub the Unicorn's Horn
Dishonorable Discharge Runka (Swedish)
Disseminating Scraping Your Carrot
Doddle Whacking Scratching the Itch
Doodle Your Noodle Seasonin' Your Meat
Do The Dew See Mrs. Palmer & Five Daughters
Drain the Dragon Self Love
Drain the Monster Sending out the Troops
Drain the Vein Shaking Hands With Abe Lincoln
Dropping A Line Shaking Hands With the Governor
Dropping Stomach Pancakes Shaking Hands With Shorty
Firm Your Worm Shaking Hands With the Unemployed
Fist **** Shake the Snake
Fist your Mister Shifting Gears
Five Against One Shine Your Pole
Five Finger Knuckle Shuffle Shining The Helmet
Five Knuckle Olympics Shooting Enemies
Flogging Your Dong Shooting Putty at the Moon
Flogging Your Log Shooting Sherman
Flute Solo Shucking Bubba
Flying a Kite Slam the Hammer
Fondle the Fig Slammin' the Salami
Freeing the Willies Slappin' Pappy
Frigging the Love Muscle (British) Slapping the Clown
Gallop the Antelope Slap Boxing the One-Eye
Gallop the Maggot Slap My Happy Sacks
Getting In Touch With Your Manhood Slap the Salami
Getting In Touch With Yourself Slapping the Cyclops
Getting to Know Yourself Personally Slapping your Chub
Getting Your Caps Peeled Slinging Jelly
Giving it a Tug Sloppy Joe's Last Stand
Giving the John Hancock Sloppy Sign Language
Grease the Pipe Stroke the Stallion
Greasing your Bone Smacking your Sister
Hack the Hog Snap the Monkey
Ham Shank Snap the Whip
Hand Job Snapping Your Carrot
Hands on Training Spank the Frank
Hand to Gland Combat Spank your Monkey
Hand Work Spear Chucking
Having a Roy (Australian) Spreading the Mayo
Have it Off Spunk the Monk
Have One Off the Wrist Squeeze the Cream From
the Flesh Twinkie
Hitchhike Under the Big Top Squeeze the Lemon
Hitching to Heaven
Hit the Ham Squeezing the Burrito
Holding All The Cards Staff Meeting
Holding Your Sausage Hostage Stall Clapping
Hone your Bone Stir the Soup
Hump your Fist Stroke Off
Hump your Hose Stroking It
Humpin' Air Stroking your Goat
Ironing Some Wrinkles Stroke your Poker
Jack Hammer Taking a Shake Break
Jack Off Tame the Wild Hog
Jackin' Tap the Turkey
Jackin' the Beanstalk Tease the Python
Jag Off Tease the Weasle
J Arthur Rank (British rhyming slang - wank) Tenderize the Meat
Jazz Yourself The Erky Jerk
Jelly Roll The Sticky Page Rhumba
Jerk Off Threading a Needle
Jerk the Gherkin Throw off a Batch
Jerk the Johnson Throwin' Down
Jiggle the Jewelry Thump the Pump
Jimmying your Joey Tickle the Elmo
Killing the Beast Tickle the Pickle
Knock the Top Off Toss Off
Knuckle Shuffle on your Piss Pump Toss the Boss
Launching the Hand Shuttle Toss the Turkey
Leakin' the Main Drain Tugging your Toobsteak/Toobsnake
Loping your Mule Tug of War with Cyclops
Making the Bald Guy Puke Tuning the Antenna
Making Nut Butter Tussle with Your Muscle
Making Yogurt Unwapping the Pepperoni
Mangle the Midget Varnishing the Cane
Manipulate the Mango Wailing
Manual Override Walk the Dog
Masonic Secret Self Handshake Walking Willie the One Eyed Wonder Worm
Massage your Muscle Wank (British)
Massage your Purple-Headed Warrior Waxing the Dolphin
Measuring For Condoms Wax your Jackson
Milking the Bull Wax your Weasel
Milking the Lizard Wax your Willy
Milking the Monkey Whack Off
Milkywaying Whack Your Tack
Moulding Hot Plastic Whip the Dummy
Nerk your Throbber Whip your Dripper
Oil the Glove Whipping the One-Eyed Wonder*
Oiling The Pogo Stick Whipping the Pony
One Handed Clapping Whipping the Window Washer
One Man Show White Water Wristing
One Man Tug-O-War Whizzin' Jizzim
Pack your Palm Wiggling your Worm
Paddle the Pickle Winding the Jack In The Box
Paint the Pickle Wonk your Conker
Pain the Walls Working a Cramp out of your Muscle
Pam Anderson Polka Working your Willy
Pat the Robertson Wrestling the Eel
Peel Some Chilis Wring Out your Rope
Peel the Banana Wring Your Thing
Peel the Carrot Yahtzee
Petting Your Dog Yank My Doodle (It's a Dandy)
Playing With Dick Yank Off
Playing With Susi Palmer and her five friends Yank the Yodle
Playing With Your Noodle Yank your Crank

Some I got off line
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Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !bs

Shaking hands with the president
Down town Charley brown
The old low five
Five knuckle shuffle

TICKLE YOUR PICKLE