Post: Rust's Anti-Thesis of the Century.. of Men.
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05-19-2009, 10:40 PM
#1
Rust
Do a barrel roll!
I'll decide to tell you guys a bit about myself. I'm a thirty-two year old child rapist with a niche for sixteen year old boys who touch themselves to Call of Duty 4. On top of that, I have a really cool handlebar mustache and armpit hair that extends past my already extended love handles. I weigh close to seven tons and wear very thick glasses and am balding due to an excessive amount of McDonalds.
Actually, I am bored and none of you are really any fun. Apart from the casual seven year old who cries about losing a flame war about whose girlfriend has bigger tits, I find this topic to already be lacking in excitement. In fact, I am more than happy to get flamed at because at least I would know that I am disliked on a forum rather than deal with the fact that people are apathetic to me and would much rather discuss penis size with other males than to discuss the awesomeness of tits.
I am a tit man. That is also my main concern with many of you. When I post tits, which I will, I expect for you guys to drool all over it and respond with heinous comments about what you would do to those amazing pair of tits that I post. Call me a pervert if you want, but I congratulate myself on having a pHD in Drunk, High, and Tits.
I also am a graduate of Man, and therefore, expect to be treated like one. When and if you post anything stupid or remotely stupid, I will congratulate you on having such a small penis. Yes, this topic will revert back to the theory of evolution and how the stupid males will always have the smallest penis. Why? Because I said so. If you want to argue this fact, and try and talk your way out of your half-retarded 86 point IQ, go for it. But I will tell you right now, that I will overshadow your stupidity with such nonsense as more tits, more gruesome stories, and more awesomeness that can only be associated with myself.
I am not drunk right now, nor am I high. I had to quit due to a recent IT Internship for some major electronics company that I won't care to mention because I am afraid, and rightfully so, that you guys would be retarded enough to actually try and engage in conversation with me when I am at work. The answer will always be no - no matter how hard you try. There is a reason I failed at technical support - when I tell you that you should not own a computer because you have the IQ of a dumpster, I say it with no personal feelings attached. Of course, you guys just have to get personal, and then I have to revert back to my theory of evolution.
My Resume will ultimately include that I am a pure genius with so many degrees, it will be hard to list them on a single sheet - so I give them my resume printed sideways. On the back, I will draw a detailed picture of tits. Any man with a pHD in man would instantly hire me on the spot - of course, as soon as they realize that I also have a pair of handlebar mustaches located on my face and on my crotch.
I believe I had a dream last night, about how awesome I was. In fact, in my dream, you all have epic failures and come to me for support. I offer you none. For I am, a man. Men don't need support.
Therefore, in conclusion to this wonderful post, I conclude that if you come to a forum asking for help in a general discussion area, you must not be a man, because real men don't need support. We need beer(preferably something rich and tasty, for the fatties, Colt 45, for the skinnies, Guiness), and we need women. Of course, beer is interchangeable with marijuana, and women is interchangeable with goats only on special occasions like Wednesdays. Most of you lack in even the goat factor, so I conclude, you are no men to my standards.
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05-20-2009, 01:05 AM
#7
DirtyDudeOnline
:y::n:
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