(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Hi. I felt I needed to make this thread because, well... I've been treating some people like shit occationally and I'm sure a pang of it has hit this forum occationally. Over the past two months I've been coming to terms with a few things that I want to explain and I will try to keep this brief. I would appreciate it if people would be respectful in this thread, I'm putting this here so everyone can see it but that doesn't mean I want people to make stupid comments or silly jokes. Please show some respect and dignity and prove to me that NGU isn't the immature childish place I've been accusing it of recently. This is a very personal issue, please understand what this is like for me before deciding to take the piss.


OK, with that out of the way I'll explain what's happening. As some members, particularly those who frequent the debate section may know, I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It's a degenerative connective tissue disorder which causes, well, numerous medical issues. The most frequent problems it causes include chronic pain, repetitive joint dislocations, brittle bones, blindness, strokes/anuerisms/heart attacks, kidney failure, bladder failure, reaccuring migraines, insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome, irregular body temperature and seizures. I'm starting to show a large number of these symptoms.

The fatigue and pain are becoming extremely difficult to handle and I find myself frequently angry. Due to other issues I found myself in financial trouble and was forced to move in with my parents temporarily. What was originally going to be only a month or two has now been over a year and unlikely to change soon. My medical issues are preventing me from finding work and I cannot reasonably support myself without help from family which is making me feel less than useful. I have recently been told that the Job Centre wants to put me forward for "work from home" schemes because they don't feel I'm fit for work.

I have a lot of worries. I expect to be in a wheelchair in my 30's, and I will likely need surgery many times. I'm feeling less and less capable and feel an overwhelming need to use what I know I can still use, my mind. Because of this I've been effectively trolling the debate section and because I frequently feel angry, tired and in pain, I'm not just showing my knowledge but being a huge dick about it in the process. This thing is, frequently I'm lashing out without realising it, and it's only minutes later I realise I'm just projecting my pain and anger on others.

As a 25 year old man I would like to feel I had some focus. While I'd be frustrated anyway as I'm living with my parents, unemployed and single, all things I'd like to change, with my current medical issues I can't change these things any time soon and I have no impetus to do anything truly positive.

Now, I'm not looking for advice. Trust me, it's not worth trying because I need to come to terms with everything first anyway, and I largely doubt anyone on NGU even knows what Ehlers-Danlos Sydrome is let alone had any practical ideas on how to deal with it and it's progressing problems. All I want to do is vent, to let people know why I'm being so short-tempered and to hopefully account for my volatility. In a round about way this is both a warning and an apology. I don't mean to take my frustrations out on the people here, and while I'll probably do it on occation again, I apologise. I'm afraid being a calm man just isn't possible for me right now, at the very least however, I'll try to be reasonable for the most part and I hope you can all bare with me. What I'm going through isn't easy and it frightens me at times.

Thank you all for reading this, it's good to get this out.

Right. Hello NGU. I'm back again, fighting though my fatigue...

I'm in a lot less pain now and I've decided that I'm, unfortunately for some of you, going to use this forum as a little bit of a crutch. I realise that it's not much but by posting here, by forcing myself to post I'll be able to keep myself awake and active. It may not seem like much but the constant back and forward between topics and threads will help me tackle this.

I've had medical tests run, my thyroid results will come through soon. They've also tested me for diabetes, it's routine for me as I have family with diabetes. I'll hopefully get these results soon and I have my first appointment on 9th November with my new specialist so I'm looking forward to that. The migraines have come back, irritatingly so on the days when I have had energy I've tended to develop migraines. I am however relying less on painkillers in general which is a nice change but I'm not sure if that's because the pain is actually less or because I'm sleeping it off all the time.

Still, I'm back and I'm going to force myself to post a little more... please bear with me during this time as I'm finding it hard to focus on anything. I appreciate the freedom on this forum, it helps me get out my frustrations knowing the moderators are in general decent, and not draconian, so I can usually speak my mind. Thanks for reading my posts and giving me a little something to focus on over the past few months, the average member reading this may not realise it, but you do make a difference.