Post: Mother-Son 7 years no speaking Help
07-26-2009, 03:22 AM #1
xsHoEx
Hurah!
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Well, most of you here are probably new and most likely don't know remember me, like that matters at all, I have a question, well actually I need suggestions, about something I plan to do, which I hope can help me straighten out my life problems and what not.

Short story: I haven't talked to my mom in almost 8 years. 8 years ago me, my dad and step-mom, moved down from Baltimore (where I grew up) to the South. Just a few weeks ago, me and my mom moved out from my dad, don't ask why, just he is now back up north in Baltimore staying with his family and me and my step-mom (prac. my mom, i love her more than anything) have our own place together and everything is great. My dad, RAN INTO MY MOM, completely by accident the other day at her work, and she spotted him first. Obv, she wanted to know this and that, but him being my father and having respect for me, didn't tell her my personal life, especially since its been 8 years with no contact from her). He called me and told me this, and now I really want to call her. I've always wanted too, but I've never had a way until now(dad got her number for me, incase I did decide to want to call her). My parents never kept contact with each other after everything went down, so it's been complete silence for a LONG TIME! So, I contacted my cousin who lives up there, and is in touch with her, and he gave me her number, but I want her email first, to get things off slow, which I am getting her email tomorrow. I'm not worried about the email part, but when I do eventually call her, what do I say?
I can't exactly say "hi, MOM" or "i love you" i just cant. how do i start off a conversation with my mother who i have had NO CONTACT with for 8 years. I have no clue. This is why I need suggestions. I literally can not think of anything to start off, not even a HI
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07-26-2009, 03:26 AM #2
Grimsley33
On Top of the Game
I had the same kind of problem with my dad. I didn't go to his house for over a year or talk to him at all. Just ask her if she wants to go out and do something with just the two of you to get to know each other more. Like go bowling or go to a baseball game or just something where the both of you can catch up with things.
07-26-2009, 03:42 AM #3
xsHoEx
Hurah!
Originally posted by Kballa33 View Post
I had the same kind of problem with my dad. I didn't go to his house for over a year or talk to him at all. Just ask her if she wants to go out and do something with just the two of you to get to know each other more. Like go bowling or go to a baseball game or just something where the both of you can catch up with things.


alright, maybe I should of made it more clear. I still live in Georgia. My mom is still in Baltimore. I'm doing a road trip in october with my (step-mom), and MAYBE my girlfriend, up to Pennsylvania (about 1 hr from where my mom lives). So, while my mom is in PA, I plan to take my GF to Baltimore, show her the amazing city and what not, and maybe meet up with my mom, (of course, after we exchange phone calls between now and then). I cant just be like, Hey mom, lets go to a baseball game tomorrow. not that easy.
07-26-2009, 03:45 AM #4
braeden
I am error
Maybe go to a Starbucks and talk with your mom.

Just first start off and be like 'Hey mom,How are things?...I'm glad you and dad ran in to each other I've been wanting to get in contact with you.'

Honestly sounds like you need to man up and talk to your mom...Don't see how it's that hard...No offense.
07-26-2009, 03:49 AM #5
xsHoEx
Hurah!
Originally posted by braeden View Post
Maybe go to a Starbucks and talk with your mom.

Just first start off and be like 'Hey mom,How are things?...I'm glad you and dad ran in to each other I've been wanting to get in contact with you.'

Honestly sounds like you need to man up and talk to your mom...Don't see how it's that hard...No offense.


alright buddy, either your ****ing 12 or your a no life ****ing scum bag who doesn't know shit about anything. I haven't talked to my MOTHER in 8 years. you know how hard it is going to be to call her MOM. im ****ing 17 years old. im still a damn kid. I'm ****ing sensitive. Just because your a big badass mother ****er who thinks its easy, it's not. I would love for you to be 17, not talk to your mom since you were 9 years old, I was ****ing 9 when i last talked to my mom, 9, and your telling me its not hard to start a conversation with her. get the **** out
07-26-2009, 03:50 AM #6
Grimsley33
On Top of the Game
Originally posted by xsHoEx View Post
alright, maybe I should of made it more clear. I still live in Georgia. My mom is still in Baltimore. I'm doing a road trip in october with my (step-mom), and MAYBE my girlfriend, up to Pennsylvania (about 1 hr from where my mom lives). So, while my mom is in PA, I plan to take my GF to Baltimore, show her the amazing city and what not, and maybe meet up with my mom, (of course, after we exchange phone calls between now and then). I cant just be like, Hey mom, lets go to a baseball game tomorrow. not that easy.


Alright, then just start e-mailing her and ask how things are going and get to know her more. So then you two are at least talking, and then like you said later on with your girlfriend go there and try to meat up with her and have some group activity. She's been missing you as much as you have been missing her so don't worry about her not wanting you back. And you'll feel better once you start talking to her again
07-26-2009, 03:52 AM #7
braeden
I am error
Originally posted by xsHoEx View Post
alright buddy, either your ****ing 12 or your a no life ****ing scum bag who doesn't know shit about anything. I haven't talked to my MOTHER in 8 years. you know how hard it is going to be to call her MOM. im ****ing 17 years old. im still a damn kid. I'm ****ing sensitive. Just because your a big badass mother ****er who thinks its easy, it's not. I would love for you to be 17, not talk to your mom since you were 9 years old, I was ****ing 9 when i last talked to my mom, 9, and your telling me its not hard to start a conversation with her. get the **** out


Calm down dude...I was just saying start off with small talk and stuff...I'm sure she want's to talk to you too.
07-26-2009, 04:30 AM #8
H₂O
Samurai Poster
Starbucks is good if your older and drink coffee, but I doubt it.

I agree with kballa go to some event, do something and catchup. Tell her what you told us. Shes your biological mom and cant get mad at you, just your dad in the worst case.
07-26-2009, 06:12 AM #9
Dopey
NGU :/
seriously this is too much of a touchy issue for anybody to be posting stupid shit!

xsHoEx your mother gave birth to you and even though she hasn't been there for you she was there for you the first couple years of your life (i think/hope). she gave you life man and believe it or not, every mother sacrifices a lot to have a child. i know it's hard especially since its been 8 years but just try to get to know her like a friend. simple questions to ask her is what she does for a living, what she likes to do on her free time, what kind of music/movies she likes etc.
email will of course be the easiest because you wont have to worry about the awkward silence and you can keep it short. you can literally just ask her a question and send that as an email and that will eventually turn into paragraphs then phone calls then the occasional text messages.
exchange pictures through emails, tell her about your gf, your life... im sure she wants to know every little thing you've done in the past 8 years. school related stuff you did, anything interesting at all even things that got you into trouble.

seriously man just get to know her as if she were a pen pal. right now you have the perfect opportunity to catch up with her or even to start over. forget the past and relive everything. i know this sounds kind of gay but you will never find a better friend than your own mother. she is the only person that will care about you no matter what.
and in a few months when you meet up with her dont forget the flowers.
good luck with your mom and i hope i helped at least a little bit...

The following user thanked Dopey for this useful post:

DirtyDudeOnline
07-26-2009, 06:28 AM #10
My parents have never fought so I have NO clue what you are going through although I imagine it is very tough. To the best of my knowledge I say you talk to her through e-mail until you guys have broken the "surprised idk im confused wtfbbq awkward" barrier. Then call her and just start off with Hey it's ENTER NAME HERE, shes most likely going to freak out in excitement and just let the convo flow and take over from there.

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