Originally posted by Just4Hax
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I honestly was wondering if anyone would come back to NGU for a moment then, it seemed like for the last week I was the only one from the debate section who logged on and as much as I do like the sound of my own voice, it is in fact impossible to have a debate with yourself unless you are infact quite mad. So welcome back everyone, we missed you... why you didn't all just do the fix posted on the Facebook page I'll never know, but still.
I thought I'd go though the candidates as you did and give it my own spin. I'll point out, this is coming from a British Libertarian Socialist so basically, as far as I'm concerned USA is fúcked regardless. But yeah...
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Barack Obama
He's going to win this one. It's very rare for USA to vote out the president, even if a president is very poor once they're in office they're almost guarenteed a second term unless they screw up big time. On top of that, he'll have the black vote, and a lot of protest votes due to the excessive religiousity of the Republican candidates, but does he deserve it?
Obama is an awful president, so much so that I'd call him worse than George W. Bush... Yes, I just said that. Why? Because the man is just a black George W. Bush. Seriously, he's kept almost all the same policies going, the only difference is he's more eloquent which means people don't realise that he's an absolute arse. Obama's biggest problem is he lacks a backbone. He didn't close Guantanamo Bay, he didn't pass anything even close to a decent healthcare bill (and I really wish people would stop saying Obamacare like it's fúcking voldamort, the bill was so pathetic no-ones even noticed the damn thing), he hasn't pushed for any socio-political changes, he left the tax breaks for the rich alone. In short his "Yes we can" campaign was supposed to be him saying that he could institute change and all it proves is Obama likes Bob the Builder... Obama is one of the best Republicans USA has ever had, he somehow managed to convince the fúcking Democrats to vote for him, and you Americans wonder why other countries can't tell your political parties apart. They're identical.
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Rick Santorum
I sincerely hope every American reading this feels dirty just looking at him.
This pathetic snivelling little prick is anti-everything. He's pretty much opposed to anything intellectual, be it the education system, science, technology, or social progression. He's a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, anti-intellectual, sexist, fundamentalist christian, authoritarian douche who quite frankly I wouldn't waste my piss on if he was on fire. It makes me literally nausiated to think this person is actually supported by a significant portion of your country. You should all me fúcking ashamed, you make me sick.
If this man is your president he will dismantle the education system, removed all forms of liberty, enforce his religion whether you follow it or not, and quite possibly start world war three. If you're considering voting for him, leave this thread, no, no, in fact, leave this forum, now... go on, fúck off, you're not worthy of being on the same website as me let alone worthy of reading my posts. Unless you're functionally retarded, anyone who wants to vote for this twat should be shot before they injure someone, they're a danger to themselves and everyone around them.
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Newt Gingrich
Really... this man is called Newt? What the hell is wrong with you people, Newt? That's not a name... I know it's short for Newton, but guess what? THAT'S STILL NOT A FÚCKING NAME!
OK, I'm focusing on the wrong things here... why? Because he's not getting the nomination. Really he's just Obama in most respects but without the knowledge of the middle east, which considering how that's going, is probably a big issue. Still he's a damn sight better than Rick CumLube. For the Republicans really, it's either going to the psycho I mentioned above or the next delightful chap.
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Mitt Romney
Seriously America? Another one? Mitt is not a damn name, and this time there's no excuse, it's not even short for anything. He's actually called "Mitt". Was his father playing baseball right before he was born and it was the only thing that came to mind when naming? Oh no it's worse... Mitt is his middle name. His first name is Willard! Which is STILL NOT A FÚCKING NAME!!! How hard is it people? There's entire books of baby names out there, why can't people pick an actual name otherwise you end up with people like Trig Palin, who seriously is named "Down Syndrome" Palin... that's not a joke. The medical term for Down Syndrome is Trisomy G, usually shorted to Tri G. Nurses therefore often call babies with Down Syndrome, "Trig Babies". It's a known casual name for the condition. Sarah Palin is so fúcking stupid that she heard the nurses call him a Trig Baby and decided to make it his name. How sick is that? But anyway on to Mitt Romney...
The man is Rick Santorum light, he's basically exactly the same as Santorum except he's a Mormon, which quite frankly should make everyone nervous. This is a religion that believes in Magic Underwear... seriously. They also re-wrote huge parts of the Bible so they could relocate it in USA for no good reason. Quite frankly this man is just plain retarded, he's not quite as hate inducingly evil as Santorum as he doesn't seem to oppose any scientific or social progress ever achieved with such ferver, oh but don't for one minute think he's a good candidate.
He's a fundamentalist, sexist, homophobic, duplicitous little bigot as well. He's anti-civil rights, he's against the seperation of church and state, he intends to ban pornography just like Rick AssCrack, but at the very least he's anti-SOPA... so that's nice... pity you've all got to be homophobic porn-free mormons to enjoy your video games. Oh but that's not the end of it, oh no. He may not start world war three, but he'll certainly bankrupt USA if he gets into power as he wants to INCREASE military spending, INCREASE corporate spending. This man intends to subsidise big corporations during a recession. This is what we scientifically refer to as snooker loopy. In short if you vote for this man, you can join the twats who voted for Rick Satorum because you're also a massive cúnt, not quite as douchy sure, but added stupid is in there to make up for it.
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Ron Paul
Aaawwwww, it's cute. People actually think he's taken seriously. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Let's be honest here, no-one cares about Ron Paul. He's basically an idealist who's only kept around because he's too old for people to tell him to shut the hell up, they're afraid they may upset him. He's the doddering old man and it's cute really. Outside of NGU I haven't seen a single person take him seriously and actually say they want to vote for him, and I've not heard a single person on NGU over the age of 18 actually say they support him. Let's face it, the only reason people on NGU support him is because we have far to many pathetic stoners who think of nothing but smoking weed and playing Call Of Duty... that's it. The only reason they even pay attention is because Ron Paul said he'd legalise pot. Some stuck around long enough to hear him mention he'd pull out of the wars in the middle east, and at that point you've got the hippy double-bill. Anti-war, pro-drugs... Unfortunately all the stoners who support him are 14 years old and everyone else has realised that he's a doddering old man who'll probably die before the first term is up.
Still don't think he's a nice guy, he's still a fundamentalist, sexist, homophobic twat like the others... albeit slightly less anti-science, he actually accepts global warming, oh, but not evolution, that'd be going too far... (oh yeah, eveyone on this list except Obama is a Creationist, that should tell you something right there).
Ron Paul doesn't have a chance in hell...
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So basically it's between Barack Obama and either Rick Santorum or Mitt Romney, we all know this, an honestly, even though Barack Obama is one of the worst presidents USA has ever had, beat out by Richard Nixon and George W. Bush and that's about it (and even then, at least everyone knew George W. Bush was a moron), vote for Obama... PLEASE!!! The others are psychos and that's no joke. This isn't even a point of contention here. I'd vote George W. Bush back in before I'd even consider those people. They're worse than Sarah Palin... SERIOUSLY.
People who think this is a debate scare me, this isn't a debate, it's the plot of a really sadistic horror film.