Originally posted by txlonghorn97
This isnt a sympathy thing, i just am wondering what kind of things people have been through.
Im sure some people will see this as an offensive post. some people are stupid though because i legitimately dont want people to act like that.
Ill start this off still
I will start off by saying im only 16, and i havent had a long time to experience terrible things.
In 7th grade i met the most amazing girl ever, she gave me her phone number, and every night i talked on the phone with her from 9pm until atleast 1 am, usually longer. This continued until the summer between 8th and 9th grade. She got a boyfriend, who hated me. And though im not certain of this, i could only assume this happened because of him, She stops talking to me for months.
Well i start to like a new girl more and more, though i was literally in love with the other ( her name was kali). So i started randomly talking to kali again, and she said she was going to get me the best present ive ever gotten in my life when she came back from the coast... Well i texted her all through the next day, and called her literally just saying i just wanted to stay friends, and make sure we stay in touch and such.
the next morning, i jolted awake at around 12 pm. Had a feeling of things just being off, and immediately knew something was wrong with kali. Well, i didnt think much of it, logged into facebook and saw, she had been in a boating accident, and had died.
I have spent the last year mostly in a deep depression hidden by fake bullshit smiles, and laughter.
Now i have to spend the rest of my life in regret of never letting her know what she meant to me. This is hell to wake up everyday, and look back at what i had, knowing i will never see it again, feel it again, id kill myself if it meant i would be guaranteed to spend another second with her.
I feel like love, is the most worthless thing ever, and life without it would be much more enjoyable, but on the other side of this spectrum, is the joy you are filled with while spending time with a person who you do like.
Many people actually seemed to be keeping tabs on me, and im pretty certain almost everybody thought i was going to kill myself. Id considered it, and thought its not worth it, giving the people im close with the same dilemma i myself was in.
I just fucking hate emotions, ive learned that now.
Soo, anybody else got a story?
good friend died of cancer..at age 16. same thoughts as you.