This is my personal view on death:
I see death as a gateway to happiness, a simple "end" to this sorrow, hatred, despair, and agony we have to undergo called "life". I see death as a wonderful, beautiful thing.
As for seeing people die in front of you, it's traumatizing, yes, I've been there and saw that.
I saw a guy blow his brains out, a guy stab himself to death, a guy slit his throat, and a girl attempt to hang herself (all in reality, not in videos). I can definitely say it's a traumatizing thing to have to undergo, and it will definitely mess with your mind for the rest of your life.
Where THE FUCK do you live.
I have never had a family member die (besides great grandparents). Life is how you make it. I am happy with my life right now, but I would not not be satisfied if it ended right now.