(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); One day there was a unicorn named Charlie. Charlie was the coolest unicorn around; all the other unicorns wished they had a horn as big as Charlie’s horn. Charlie’s horn was well over 10 inches. The female unicorns enjoyed looking at Charlie’s horn of massive size. One day Charlie found a large tunnel behind a boulder, Charlie followed the tunnel for miles and miles and eventually Charlie saw these creatures he has never seen before, humans. These humans tried chasing Charlie the unicorn down and attacking him but Charlie was too fast. The humans had advanced to using weapons against Charlie. Charlie the unicorn was unstoppable though because the humans would never be able to get him with their weapons. Charlie was so fast that even the best mechanical birds couldn’t keep up with him. He was faster than the speed of light times 10. Charlie was also super strong nothing could hurt him. One day the dirty humans snuck up on Charlie the poor little unicorn and tried capturing him in rope. Charlie woke up and kicked them with his strong back legs and they flew hundreds of yards to their deaths. Charlie wanted to get home to see his unicorn friends, family, and mate. Charlie created a huge plan to steal one of the humans’ jets and fly it through the tunnel to get back to his home. Charlie couldn’t run back through it because it was too steep for him. Charlie found where they kept the fast jets and he waited until the humans were most vulnerable at night. He quietly snuck in the airbase and ran to a jet. Charlie figured out how to open the cockpit after an hour of trying and he jumped into it. He started the jet and realized, he was a fucking unicorn and didn’t know how to fly a plane. The jet was found crashed right at the end of the runway, Charlie never even got off the ground.

tell me more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

beautiful story for your friend

So done!

100% Lol'd

He had brown hair blue eyes a goatee beard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#JeSuisCharlie topkek

When I'm ready to go to sleep I grab my laptop and get in bed. I open my laptop, go to NGU and find Toke's profile, turn the brightness all the way up and fap. When the fapping is done I close my eyes and can still see Toke's avatar while I go to sleep. It's the only way I can feel safe.

#nohomo

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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.