I'm glad I saw this, and I apologise for your suffering.
I was in a similar position to you once. I was in year 11, finishing my final year at school and this kid had been bullying me all year. One time I did deserve it. A girl sent me a nude and my girlfriend saw it before I had even seen it, so technically it wasn't my fault as I didn't ask for it - but he took it upon himself to headbutt me in front of all my friends and pin me up against a wall. I didn't hit him back because I felt like I deserved it.
Then, for weeks, it continued. He got a much bigger guy to destroy me in front of everyone. I didn't fight back then because I knew I couldn't. I was battered, black and blue... Bleeding from places I didn't even know I could bleed from.
Then, on my birthday, we have a tradition called birthday beats where they punch you in your arm for how old you are.
On this occasion, I was 16. He walked in and he punched me straight in the chest and said "1", he did it again. "2". And again "3". "4". "5".
My vision went. I couldn't see. Few minutes later my vision came back and everyone in my form room was looking at me scared... My hands were clenched, holding tightly onto something. I looked to see what I grabbed, and it was the kids neck. He was purple and bleeding heavily from this gash in his head from when I slammed his head into the table.

I broke his nose, jaw and fractured his cheekbones. I fucked him up and I felt sorry for him at first, I looked at him, smiled at him and then I let go and say back down in my chair as if nothing happened.
The best thing was, all I my classmates supported me. They knew he was a bully, and they took my defence when I was questioned about it.
I see him around every now and again, he doesn't look me in the eyes but I know he sees me.
It felt great to be on the other end of the punches. I wouldn't do it to anyone else unless they deserved it.
Stand up for yourself, don't let people walk over you. Why should you be put down and depressed when you've done nothing wrong?
I am proud of you my friend, for having the courage to continue living when you were at your weakest.

Are you serious...? Im not reading all of that xD

Hi guys
Probably it's the first time that i want to talk seriously or to have a little "deeper" talk with you, so i will just start talking about my "situation" or problem that affected and still affects me in many ways:

My name is Claudio, i'm 17, i'm from italy and i go to a cooking school as i want to be a cook in the future (or i could get the diploma and then go to college).
You know, there are many types of students in a school, from cool guys who are full of girls around them to the losers that are bit shy, with glasses and probably get bullied.
Well, for fucking bad luck... i'm a sort of loser.
When i joined for the first year the cooking school, the first days everything was good, new classmates seemed to be okay, except one that i saw the second day, one of those 16 years old full of big muscle with the scooter who still didnt know what to do with their life besides warming up the chair and playing games/chatting with the girlfriend.
One day, a fucking saturday, we had 2 hours of gym and then a hour without the teacher, in that hour we were outside the gym talking, when (i dont even remember why or probably don't want to) i said "damn, if i knew that we were about to do nothing today, i would have stayed home and play call of duty black ops". FUCKING MORON.WHY.DID.YOU.FUCKING.SAY.THAT.
At that age i didnt care much of what i said, neither that having porn videos on the phone was bad, no one ever said nothing to me when i was in middle school, everyone did that.
So, that 16 years old guy started calling me "black ops" and everyone always laughed when he was calling me like that.
After a week that motherfucker finds a porno in my phone and puts it with max volume in front of the entire class.
The hell starts here. Being bullied by the guys(that motherfucker often punched and kicked me for no reason at all) and neither the teacher nor the girls did nothing to defend me. For the entire year i was depressed and many times i also thought of committing suicide. No one could have felt the pain i was feeling.
So, june arrives, the school ends and almost all the motherfuckers who bullied me didnt pass. FUCK YEAH, next year will be good! NO SHIT.
Return to school, the girls who were with me the previous year have the good idea of telling to the new classmates the story about the porno and other shit. THAT FUCKING PORNO, THAT. FUCKING. PORNO.
same as the previous year, this time only 2-3 motherfuckers, didnt think about committing suicide once,this time.
So again, June arrives, the school ends but only 1 motherfucker doesnt pass.
God, please. not again.
this time no one talk about me for like a month, then one of the 2 idiots tells to a new classmate(a girl) the thing about the porno. Girl = she tells it to her friends who are in my same class = i'm fucked and the remote hope of finding a girlfriend is gone. this year went a LOT better, almost didnt get bullied at all except some discussions for stupid things with a classmate, and in that amount of time i kind of start noticing the effects of being bullied for almost 3 years.
THIS YEAR, September 2014- still going, is going surprisingly well, not getting bullied by anyone and i'm very friendly with almost the entire class.

now, let's talk about the effects:
I'm very shy and sometimes i don't say what i would like to say because i'm terrified about the thought that all could happen again;
I stutter A LOT;
Every critic to me is like a punch in the stomach, i feel like i'm being bullied;
Panic attacks when i don't know what to do in front of other people because i dont know how they could judge me/when i think about the first years at school.


Personally i wont EVER and never criticize another person if he's fat, ugly, he's shy or other, because i know how he/she could feel bad and that he/she could even commit suicide.
Just an example is that last year a girl of my school commited suicide because she was getting bullied(we all know how cruel girls can be while bullying), and of course no one ever done anything to stop this.

my personality got affected alot by all of this, i still didnt manage to overcome all of this after almost 2 years.
things are getting a bit better for me, and i hope it will get better and better.

Thanks for reading, and see ya :gooby:

That guy was veeery famous in the school for beating the shit out of everybody who looked at him the wrong way or other shit, if i punched him in the face right now i would be dead

Grow some balls and throw one most people who act big won't do shit in the heat of a moment

Are you serious...? Im not reading all of that xD

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