Seems like you focused too much on the animation and neglected the rest of the tag. The flow is near non-existent due to the effect placement and general type of effects. The c4d's which you were attempting to create a snow effect developed into more of blue fire look. The text looks slapped on and is poorly placed. Finally, it looks like you totally left out sharpening/blurring. Needs some work, but I'm glad you incorporated minor animations into a piece, I'm yet to do that.
thanks

sorry im not the best at giving cnc :p
the blue rock was to show that it was kinda cold and frozen

wasnt trying to go for snow lol and well thanks

ill see if i can make a v3 with this
again thanks