Mom: So where did you put the adopted baby?
Me: In the oven.
Mom: In the oven? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!
Me: I was trying to turn him black like us
Mom: You didnt need to put him in the oven you fûcker, your lucky the oven was just warming up!
Me: Your lucky that i didnt burn yo fat black ass
Mom: Excuse me? what did you say
Me: You heard me, and oh you've been excused blackie.
Mom: Oh no you didn't
Me: I believe I just did.
Mom: You Know what, wheres my belt?!?!?
Me: In your room, want me to go get it
Mom: Yes! Go get it NOW!!
Me: (I got the belt) sooo what cha gonna do that belt ma
Mom: Whoop yo ass!! Pull them pants down!!
Me: Want me to shake it like a salt shacker too?
Mom: Shut the fūck up and pull your underwere down!
Me: I thought you were gonna drop a twenty dollar bill in there!
Mom: (She cocks back my dads pistle) Shut uo before I blast yo ass!!!
Me: You should really get akimbo on that M9 ma, it kills faster.
Mom: (Aiming the gun at my head) I would advise you to shut the fúck up now!
Me: I would advise you to brush yo teeth because yo breath smells like shït right now!.
Mom: (Shoots me right in the four head) What did I just do?!?!?!?
Big Brother: You shot your son...oh yeaahh...HEADSHOT!!
i never thought id regret a moment of my life but i just regretted the minuet i spent reading that , sorry bro , but epic fail