Post: Garf's Epic Tale
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03-27-2011, 07:07 AM
#1
Samberg
Banned
Garf:
"Well, when I was younger and I used to masturbate 3-4 times a day. I used to lock myself in my room, get the porn on and bash away.
I never was prepared tho = no tissues-socks-etc. So i just used to pull my bed away from the wall and jizz down the side of it."
"So after a year of this I had built up a nice collection of dried jizz, I left home to live with my granny, my sister had my room. She pulled the bed away, shouted MUM! My mum rang me and said, come and clean this mess up you have spilt something."
"I was like "HUH"? ohhhhh shittttttt."
"I went home, cleaned it up, my Mum realised after, she said dont tell Jordan lol"
This man is a god at story telling. :y:
03-27-2011, 04:16 PM
#29
Meow
Former Staff
Originally posted by Travis
Never been caught in the act. One time though I was about to get in the shower and do it and I saw a ruler in my room. Out of curiosity I brought it with me just to see . Well after I got out I left it in there /facepalm My mom found it later and said something to me.
inb4 asking me how big it was.
. Well after I got out I left it in there /facepalm My mom found it later and said something to me.inb4 asking me how big it was.
How big was it :carling:
Anyways, Garf. Keep the stories cumming :y::plank:
03-27-2011, 05:03 PM
#30
Waiz
The Sports Guru
Originally posted by mastersdinner
I got a little hard-on and got the ps3 brower started up 
Got to wanking, but i keep the controller in my hand just incase of emergencys.
So i release my load. (sitting in a game chair in my room btw) And i just sit there... My moms knocks on the door. And i say "im getting dressed".She didnt hear me and just walked in. I shout "IM GETTING DRESSED" and she gets far enough in to see that i was sitting in a chair covering up my penis and says "OH" and walks out :embarrassed:
-mastersdinner
Got to wanking, but i keep the controller in my hand just incase of emergencys.
So i release my load. (sitting in a game chair in my room btw) And i just sit there... My moms knocks on the door. And i say "im getting dressed".She didnt hear me and just walked in. I shout "IM GETTING DRESSED" and she gets far enough in to see that i was sitting in a chair covering up my penis and says "OH" and walks out :embarrassed:
-mastersdinner
When i had 12 im was doing the same, i had the controller in one time for an emergency and i was doing it in a 48 inch tv in the living room.
My mom walked in but i heard her steps and i only got time to exit browser and hide my dick in my pant, but i jizzed in my underwear /facepalm.
03-27-2011, 06:14 PM
#32
Gizmo
Guest
Originally posted by .Samberg.
So, few people know of Garf and his epic stories. Well, that's about to change people. Garf and I were sharing stories of when we were caught masterbating, I told my Wii story, and he told me of a story of his wanking days.
Garf:
"Well, when I was younger and I used to masturbate 3-4 times a day. I used to lock myself in my room, get the porn on and bash away.
I never was prepared tho = no tissues-socks-etc. So i just used to pull my bed away from the wall and jizz down the side of it."
"So after a year of this I had built up a nice collection of dried jizz, I left home to live with my granny, my sister had my room. She pulled the bed away, shouted MUM! My mum rang me and said, come and clean this mess up you have spilt something."
"I was like "HUH"? ohhhhh shittttttt."
"I went home, cleaned it up, my Mum realised after, she said dont tell Jordan lol"
This man is a god at story telling. :y:
Garf:
"Well, when I was younger and I used to masturbate 3-4 times a day. I used to lock myself in my room, get the porn on and bash away.
I never was prepared tho = no tissues-socks-etc. So i just used to pull my bed away from the wall and jizz down the side of it."
"So after a year of this I had built up a nice collection of dried jizz, I left home to live with my granny, my sister had my room. She pulled the bed away, shouted MUM! My mum rang me and said, come and clean this mess up you have spilt something."
"I was like "HUH"? ohhhhh shittttttt."
"I went home, cleaned it up, my Mum realised after, she said dont tell Jordan lol"
This man is a god at story telling. :y:
"So i just used to pull my bed away from the wall and jizz down the side of it."
That was the most epic part of the whole story :p
I lold so hard =D
03-27-2011, 06:59 PM
#33
Sir
Reeferlution
I came close to being caught once :p
I was in my room enjoying a porn flick or something on the t.v and my mom came home early from work. I heard her come in and I shut my door quietly and cleaned up everything super fast. She walked by my room and asked my what I was doing and I said I was changing :y:
I was so scared because I had to do it all in a window of about 20 seconds because my room was near the front door
I was in my room enjoying a porn flick or something on the t.v and my mom came home early from work. I heard her come in and I shut my door quietly and cleaned up everything super fast. She walked by my room and asked my what I was doing and I said I was changing :y:
I was so scared because I had to do it all in a window of about 20 seconds because my room was near the front door
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