Post: Anti Jokes!
05-23-2011, 05:36 AM #1
deathkid1212
I’m too L33T
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Hey guys here is a list of anti jokes!
Anti Joke:A joke or riddle-joke that starts like a standard joke or riddle-joke, but then turns out not to be a joke at all. (courtesy of Urban dictionary)

Jokes:
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The holocaust

What is worse than finding two worms in your apple?

Still, the holocaust

What is worse than the holocaust?

Finding three worms in your apple

What did batman say to Robin before getting into the batmobile?

Robin, get in the car

Did you know my grandfather died in the holocaust?

Yea, he fell of the guard tower

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

because he was hit by a bus

What is green and has wheels?

grass, I lied about the wheels

What did the Construction Worker say to the other construction worker?

We are both construction workers

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin

What's another thing worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Nothing

Why did the chicken commit suicide?

to get to the other side

What do you call a black person in space?

an astronaut

Why did the black person not have a job?

because he didn't earn his master's degree

Why'd the Koala fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.
One Liner's

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger of the situation.

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.


I'll be adding more later.

Also Post your favorite anti jokes!

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The following 17 users say thank you to deathkid1212 for this useful post:

Chronos, Clouds, crazyface, DCLXVI, JakeM, Lavenous_Bob, Neymar, oO_NeoN, PatriotsFan342, Sempiternal, Solo, Strike Venom, Swede, TAFF, the stuff, ZoneHD

The following user groaned deathkid1212 for this awful post:

al9522
05-23-2011, 07:06 PM #20
Winning
Former Staff
I ****ing love anti jokes. I made this one. Q. How many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One.

The following user thanked Winning for this useful post:

deathkid1212
05-23-2011, 07:21 PM #21
FlutterShy
Big Daddy
Q:Why did the Chicken Cross the road?
A:To buy a new hat.

The following user thanked FlutterShy for this useful post:

deathkid1212
05-23-2011, 08:01 PM #22
Neymar
I dunno what to say anymore?
Aha, these are pretty funny!
05-23-2011, 08:05 PM #23
Originally posted by JiampyPotter View Post
Now you trolling me :(


Exactly :carling:
I have no idea what just happened. :lol:
05-23-2011, 08:16 PM #24
Chronos
Chronos, The God Of Time
Why do people sit on NGU 3 hours a day?
Because we have no life:carling:
05-23-2011, 08:29 PM #25
Basically just flaming all Jewish people, sir Alan Sugar would say "deathkid1212, your fired!" (points finger at you)

BTW Sir Alan Sugar is Jewish, just incase you didn't get that joke

The following user thanked Neytiri for this useful post:

deathkid1212
05-23-2011, 11:32 PM #26
deathkid1212
I’m too L33T
Originally posted by riped01 View Post
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.


Originally posted by TAFF View Post
Thank you for making my day better, here are some i like.

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him



What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?

I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.



What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
" I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"


Sorry i dont know how to use spoilers.


I was actually going to add those once I got back from school. XD
05-23-2011, 11:48 PM #27
DCLXVI
Smoke weed.
Those were seriously ****ing hilarious
05-24-2011, 12:24 AM #28
Solo
Rookie
What's the difference between Jews and Ice Cream?

You don't burn ice cream.

/jokes

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