(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); HI whores of NextGenUpdate,

I wanna get to know you. I'm 6'4'' 240lbs and have a cool spartan beard.

I'm a fun loving guy and a self starter who has absolutely no intentions of committing murder. I'm looking for love, companionship or just a lovely evening (and rest assured that this one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe and sound!) Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone ever for any reason.


A good trait about me is my lack of threatening cues. People are like "I feel so safe and comfortable around you", then they usually follow up with "I really couldn't imagine you ever murdering me.". At this point, I tell them that they are absolutely 99% right.


And there is no way I can murder because I am always seen by plenty of people in plenty of different places such that I always have an alibi in the INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY event that I was to ever come up as a suspect in a murder trial, which WILL/HAS NEVER HAPPEN[ED].


Here's a pic of myself

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Let me know, thanks.


tl;dr - Date me, I won't murder you.

I know, I know, tryna get women on a gamign site...but it hasn't always been like this, so show some decency you mean man.

I was molested as a child so I have no confidence, but one day an actual girl spoke to me when I was 12 or so. i had no idea what to say to her but it wasnt awkward at all, she was really nice and even complimented the cool scar i had on my hand which was caused by the use of my hand as a substitute for an erect penis by my neighbour, i wasnt able to achieve erections at 11 years of age, and lack of lube caused tissue damage and the feces must have infected the exposed tissue. so she asked me later that day if id like to go swimming the next day and i agrreed. speedos in hand and a towel the next morning i set off on foot to meet up with her and halfway there i found an injured bear cub. i obviously stopped to aid it and as i did i got surrounded by a pack of bears. these bastards set this up as a trap and i was stood in shock while the cub bit me in the balls completely obliterating my undropped testicles and preventing any chance of me reproducing and another bear swiped my face and scarred me where my beard now is.

from time to time i have to wear a tampon, similar to women, to absorb the blood from my half mutilated penis. but here i am, looking for love trying to better myself but getting nothing but arrogant replies from people like you.



Sorry, i only have a 59 inch cock, you must have the wrong guy

this honestly no lie has made my day

" i wont murder you"

LOL that story is epic! btw didn`t mean to offend you soz

The bear story is true , but they were PedoBears :pedo:, easily mistaken by an impressionable 11 year old. And please don't laugh at he white string hanging between his legs,if you should ever meet him.
He is overly sensitive about it

Man, i swear my bitches do it 'til they suck the brown off

Has Relevant responded to your ad yet?

Lol, wth is this.

Obviously this is the online dating section of NextGenUpdate. :p

Oh everything makes sense now...