(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Hey, guys. Recently I have started becoming depressed and questioning why the f*ck I even try anymore. It seems like all I do is set up to fail, I'll never get a girlfriend, and I'm just a social f*ckup. I'm a senior in high school, and have NEVER felt like I do now. Like, I have hit rock bottom.

Now, I know that senior year is the year you usually f*ck around, but I do that, just to fill myself for that time. Like, I feel like I have a hole inside that's just sucking the life out of me. I've started drinking, smoking, doing drugs... I hate how I feel, I hate that I can't fix this, I hate my life. I've spent my whole life trying to be that perfect kid like my parents want me to be; I'm top of my class with a 4.something GPA. I'm a f*ck up when it comes to dating as well. I try to go after one girl, and she dates some other douchebag even though we had set up to go on a date. I'm going after another girl, who I had a date with today, but it sucked a shitload. I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety disorder. I hate being around large groups of people, and when I'm surrounded by a group, I freak out. I never was like this, I hate being like this, and I'm not sure what caused this. Everything about my life, how alone I am, how I never am paid attention to, just really hit me like a rock falling from a cliff. I'm a damn socially awkward, anxiety ridden, depressed teen. I'm not looking for answers, as much as just wanting to see if anyone knows why I feel like this.

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Social anxiety test shows that I have a pretty severe case of SAD. What should I do about that?

Seek help, tell your parents how you are feeling and talk to a professional.
They can give you real advice.
Do not continue with your pain until it becomes unbareable.

Coming on here with this post shows it is becoming a true issue for you.
Please be brave enough to share your pain with those that love you.

They will help you, if you have the courage to let them.

I've told a few people. My parents never take me seriously. I don't know... I really just need some sort of purpose. I don't have a significant other, so that really just gets me down often. Robotics season is starting soon, so I'll be programming for about 3-4 hours after school. I just need shit to do. I wake up, get ready, smoke, go to school, smoke, come home. Thank you for posting and all. It's much appreciated. You seem like a very helpful person. Are you considering a job in psychology?

Right, your life seems quite down at the moment, but you need some targets in the meantime before robotics season. Aim to cut down on your cigarettes, and make an attempt to write a diary. It may seem really sad at the time, but trust me it helps a lot. You get your feelings out and it seems that the diary is always there for you to refer to.

Just keep your head up, and look forward to the future!

Hm, sounds like a pretty good idea. I'll probably do that. And I don't smoke cigarettes. I smoke weed/spice/drop mushrooms.

When did you start the weed/ other drugs?
Howcome you started the drugs?

I started at the beginning of the summer. Started the summer with spice/synthetic weed, ended the summer with mushrooms, and started school with actual weed.
I started doing them for a few reasons.
1. My friends all did it, and I figured I'd try it.
2. Anxiety. It calmed me down.
3. I had nothing better to do...

Do you have any family members that are just always there for you? Join sport teams in school, join teams that force you to communicate with others/make friends. I recommend joining soccer team. Trust me, I understand, I have once gone through that depression until I started playing cod/ became addicted to it, I'm not addicted anymore though.

Brilliant! Now NGU is turning into a depressing site :/

My advice would be get involved in something that your interested in like a hobbie. Also consider getting a job this will stop you from doing other things like smoking and drinking etc. this may even help your chance to get a long-term girlfriend, because girls don't like boy's that sit on there ass all day and do nothing with themselves........ Moral of the story is that you have your whole life ahead of you.... yeah.