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Post: - Official NGU Joke Thread -
08-23-2009, 01:31 PM #1
Moorz's Avatar
Moorz
Bounty hunter
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- NextGenUpdate's Official Joke Thread -
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- Welcome to the Official Joke Thread for NextGenUpdate.Com -

This Thread was created so that moderators have to spend less time deleting spammed Joke Threads throughout the General Discussion section of our forums, and spend more time doing more important jobs like improving and developing more additions for NGU.

I am hoping, to setup a new competition just like the Signature of the Week we already have set up. This time though, I wan't to set up Joke of the Week.

- How this will work? -

Well, for this to work, we need all of our members with a great sense of humor to post their favorite jokes into this thread, then, myself of another one of our fantastic moderators will choose the joke they think is the best and then add Reputation and vBux to your account!

- Important Notices / Rules -

It is important that you read this BEFORE posting any jokes in this thread.

Joke's can sometimes be taken too far, and It isn't allowed to post jokes that may offend any of our users or any jokes that may involve or have any relevance to Racism.

Rude Jokes may be posted, But in order to do this you must include 18 Years + in the post THEN include the joke in a spoiler.

- HOW TO INCLUDE A SPOILER -

To include a spoiler, you will have to place these brackets AROUND your text [spioler]TEXT INSERTED HERE[/spioler] BUT YOU MUST SPELL SPOILER CORRECT.

- Joke of the Week -

Winner -
Winning Joke -
Joke Rating - (/10)
Joke - "..."
vBux Awarded -
+Rep Awarded -

- Hall of Fame -

Week 1 -
Week 2 -
Week 3 -
Week 4 -
Week 5 -


Good Luck & Happy Joking Smile

Scousey
Event's Moderator
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The following 3 users say thank you to Moorz for this useful post:

Jayy, MeltdowN, Sert
12-21-2009, 09:09 AM #29
icecoldstunna's Avatar
icecoldstunna
Haxor!
Yo mamas so ugly her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!! pwned
12-21-2009, 10:07 AM #30
itachi23's Avatar
itachi23
Grunt
women's rights

get it
12-23-2009, 05:36 PM #31
Scouse_Dom's Avatar
Scouse_Dom
League Champion
okay so there is this little boy and his mum, they are in blackpool. the boy says "mum can i have some candy floss?" mum says " okay sure "
Kid says " mum can i go on the ferris wheel "
mum says " sure why not "
Kid says " can i ride the donkey mum?"
Mum says " come on you have been on the ferris wheel and you have had candy floss... " kid says " but mum please "
mum says " ok last thing "
kid rides the donkey and says " mum can you buy the donkey for me ? "
mum says " why would you want a donkey, and besides your not getting it"
kid says " please mum please "
mum says " OKAY LAST THING "
kid says " can we call it wanker "
mum says " thats a terrible name, but if thats what you want sure "
so they lock the donkey in the shed, in the middle of the night the donkey escaped
kid shouts "MUM, WANKERS-OFF WANKERS-OFF"
mum says "WHAT?! YOU WANT EVERYTHING IN BLACKPOOL AND NOW YOU WANT A WANK I THINK NOT YOUNG MAN !"
12-30-2009, 08:59 PM #32
snakeater96's Avatar
snakeater96
Grunt
Yo mama's so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street I asked her what was she doing and she said she was moving
12-30-2009, 10:09 PM #33
George's Avatar
George
Originally posted by itachi23 View Post
women's rights

get it


Lol this one of those jokes that just has to be said outloud xD

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Sure"

"Womens Rights"
12-31-2009, 06:16 PM #34
NGU_AcEsUpMaSlEeVe's Avatar
NGU_AcEsUpMaSlEeVe
Guilty UNTIL Innocent
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a b#tch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a b#tch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a b#tch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a b#tch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a b#tch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a b#tch."

Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A B#TCH!!!

The following 2 users say thank you to NGU_AcEsUpMaSlEeVe for this useful post:

iDave, xinfectedsoulx
01-02-2010, 07:24 AM #35
BlogsterReviews's Avatar
BlogsterReviews
is a BOSS
What the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus.


Santa Stops at 3 HOES!!! LOL
01-02-2010, 07:48 AM #36
AntonioCro89's Avatar
AntonioCro89
Level 1 Trustworthy-
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"
01-13-2010, 08:32 PM #37
DALIAMUS's Avatar
DALIAMUS
Little One
On the news today they interviewed a close friend of Tiger Woods. Tiger's friend said to Tiger "Dog you have a beautiful wife and children!! I have to ask ya" " What were you thinking?!?" Tiger replied "GET IN THE HOLE!!" This is the very first joke I have ever come up with on my own!! Show the love!

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