(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); For approximately one year now I've been having suicidal thoughts based on the mental idea that I feel like ive never been good enough. That I have caused more pain than joy to my family and evidently this has lead to me having a want to kill myself.

I've been to doctors etc for help which actually worked for a shlrt spell. Ive noticed that happiness is a very rare thing for me. Im grateful for everything I have. But I wake up each morning and ask myself "whats the point?". I want to die as much as the mentally sound person wants to live and I don't know what to do.

Have any of you experienced emotional trauma that has left you feeling the same as myself?

I could write alotttttt of stuff about me on this here... but its NGU so i would rather not

No i haven't, but i recommend you get professional help. Just think about your family and friends.

Don't do it! It isn't worth it. Get help for youself.

1-800-273-8255 - US Suicide Hotline.

Negative comments in this thread will result in it's closure, and immediate infractions.

I personally haven't experience this deep "sadness" I guess. However, I have been bullied a bit, everyone has so if that is the cause of this then I would suggest reaching out to friends and definitely family member. Also, by friends BE CAREFUL with who you choose to confide in. I would highly not suggest talking and venting to the dude that jokingly calls you "gay" and other bullshit guys do, yanno? Regardless, I hope this depression isn't caused by some jerk of a person in school. I mean, depression can actually be something with chemicals imbalances. However, that can be "fixed" with medication.

If any of this reply sounds rude, I do NOT mean it to come across that way.

Take regard to Cryptic Soldier's reply stating the following:


If there are any possible rude or crude comments PLEASE PM me or another moderator. We will take care of it as soon as possible.

This isn't the best place to seek help as the majority of people here don't take half of this threads serious.
If i were on your situation i would ask a professional for help i would do research and find a hobby or something to keep my mind off of it.
Remember there's always someone out there who cares for you and would never want something bad to happen to you. Try talking to a close friend or family member. If anything i'm a good listener here's my skype: zSynchronicity

Think and stay positive dude.

Everyone has problems, sadly. The one thing to get through it is saying, F**k it, i got a lot of motherfu****s to prove wrong. Do that and you will have more confidence then ever before :yes:

I've been in an event that left me socially and emotionally traumatized for about a year and a half of my life. It's not like yours, but suicide was an option in my life at the given time. I know this is not the place to discuss my personal life, but if it means that I may be able to potentially save YOURS, I will do so. I am not scared to share my "story".

It actually kinda started a few months after I got staff on here (not saying NGU is to blame).
I had been in a relationship with my dream girl for quiet some time and we were actually discussing getting married... after this was brought into the equation I messaged Vince and told him my whole story asking to be retired.
I hadn't been in a relationship with anyone for 7 year until I met her. While we were together we were extremely happy, but she was bipolar (yes, literally) and always had these mood swings that would make her mad at me for no apparent reason. She was also kinda of a big flirt with a few of my friends, and that always made me jealous...anyways, one night we got into a huge fight over her bipolar disability. I won't go into details, but it lead to us braking up.

I had never been so emotionally crushed in my life. I sat at home and did nothing for months afterwards...my grades in school began slipping and I become antisocial. I had lost trust in most humans and had wished all humans died (I even made a thread about it here on NGU...) A few days after the breakup I told her that I miss her and I can't live without her. She said "Well if you can't live without me, go kill yourself." I told her that I would do anything that made her happy. I told her that I was going to go walk along the streets (this was at like 2 AM) and hope that a car hit me (I wore all black for this purpose).. she said "I can make arrangements for that"

Anyways, after being told to go kill myself by the person that I love I set out to do so. I tried hanging myself from a tree twice but the ropes broke. I stabbed myself in the stomach multiple times one night and laid in my closet. One night I was ready to take the easy way out and literally dive in front of a moving vehicle at night... I was talking with my friend on the phone when he asked me if I was alright and I explained to him my situation..and he immediately showed up at my doorsteps. I told him that he wasn't going to stop me from doing it so we went walking...and we undoubtedly walked for at least 10 miles that night. On the way back to my house after I finally got tired of walking and blowing off steam, I tried to throw myself in front of a moving car but my friend actually restrained me from doing so (he was on the side closest to the car for "security reasons")

I asked him why he did it and he said "Because you're an amazing friend and I will not lose you." I told him that I hated him that night...
After these failed attempts at suicide I decided that I would just live in pain every day.
All of this happened in July of 2013....From the time it happened up until July of 2014 I faced depression, social anxiety, and pain every single day of my life. I lived for no one or nothing. I listened to depressive suicidal black metal and actually wrote a few poems describing how I saw life and death...how death was a beautiful thing and life was a bastard. My few true friends that I thank dearly for their kindness and effort in keeping me alive told me that life would get better, but it would take time. I didn't believe them until July of this year. Things do and will get better. I realized that time was the only thing that can heal what had happened to me.

Looking back on all of this today, I am extremely thankful that my friend saved me that day. I told him that I was sorry for what I said that night and that I didn't mean it, that it wasn't me talking. He said that he knew, and he's glad that I'm here today too. Believe it or not, I was a hard core LaVeyan Satanist at the time of all of this happening. Everything got better with time, and within that time I actually started reading the Holy Bible and listening to country, bluegrass, and gospel music.

Trust me, almost everyone has been in a predicament similar to yours. Only the strong will survive. Don't give in. There is help out there, and ultimately you're the only one who can help yourself get better. Time heals all.
Please, if you are reading this and are still considering suicide as an option get help!

Plus, if you were to kill yourself, who would make your awesome graphics!? I didn't realize this was Wounded that I was speaking to!
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255