Post: How To Masturbate Without Leaving A Trace
05-21-2011, 02:04 AM #1
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); It is not difficult to learn how to masturbate without a mess. But, with the way the male body is made, ejaculate tends to flow forcefully and freely away from our bodies. If you’re not careful, this can lead to a big clean up job, but there are some steps you can take to avoid this.

[multipage=Try The Sink]
1. Men often masturbate in the bathroom, in part because it’s one of the only paces in the home with a door that locks and true privacy. If you don’t mind masturbating while standing up, jerk off directly into the bathroom sink—it was made to have things going down it anyway, and this will help you masturbate without a mess. After you’re done, just turn the water on to make the evidence go away and use some toilet paper for sticky globs that are more stubborn.

[multipage=The Shower]
2. The shower is the classic place to jerk off because it is a very private place where you are unlikely to be bothered, the running water makes enough noise to drown out any that you might be making and, of course, the drain is right there to take it all down. It’s a great place to masturbate without a mess, but remember that semen tends to clump in water and you’ll want to make sure that it all gets washed down. Also if you are taking a hot shower and masturbating you might get dry semen on your leg :/ and you have to scrape it off.

[multipage=Avoid lying on your back]
3. Jerking off while lying on your back may be the way to make the biggest mess, so avoid doing this. While on your back, you’re going to shoot up in the air and often in unpredictable directions. Depending on the strength of your orgasm, you may spray every pillowcase and sheet on your bed, leaving a bunch of musty wet spots that are not fun to deal with. To masturbate without a mess, don’t lie on your back.

[multipage=A paper towel]
4. Perhaps the easiest way to masturbate without a mess is to do it directly into an item made for cleaning messes up. A paper towel, piece of toilet paper or tissue—though often one tissue is not sturdy enough on its own—are great items to use when you’re getting ready to blow your top. Hold the towel near the end of your penis and when you ejaculate, aim directly into it, making sure to get the entire load. Then, simply deposit in the trash, and there’s no mess to be had.

[multipage=Going natural]
5. There is no way to have a mess if you don’t mind about it not getting cleaned up. Jerking off outdoors, where your deposit will just end up going back to nature, is a way to masturbate without a mess. Some people enjoy the rush of doing sexual things in nature, as it has a very “authentic” and spiritual feel. Of course, do mind where you masturbate, as you don’t want to break any laws or frighten other people, or get arrested. If you can do it on your own property, do so. Also watch out for the pedo bear Gasp
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05-21-2011, 02:35 AM #11
Adkins
Banned
While you guys are jerkin off and hiding your jizz in weird places, I will be hiding my jizz in vagina :lol:
05-21-2011, 02:36 AM #12
This is better than 3/4ths of Dopey's threads

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dex2grigg, NoMooreMercy

The following user groaned MATT23116 for this awful post:

Dopey
05-21-2011, 03:14 AM #13
Vegetᶏ
Freddy Krueger
Originally posted by TheRandomGuy128 View Post
True story but may sound nasty
1. have a foreskin
2. Cum inside the foreskin
3 ????
4 PROFIT!


Now I Know What To Do Tonight! :carling:
05-21-2011, 03:39 AM #14
NoMooreMercy
< ^ > < ^ >
I thought most of this was common knowledge to people over the age of 15-16ish tbh.

The following user thanked NoMooreMercy for this useful post:

05-21-2011, 04:08 AM #15
Default Avatar
bman53
Guest
Originally posted by TheRandomGuy128 View Post
True story but may sound nasty
1. have a foreskin
2. Cum inside the foreskin
3 ????
4 PROFIT!



And PROFIT!= win

Awesome face

I love mine too
05-21-2011, 04:11 AM #16
J_MAN
Air Jordan ™
Best Answer

Don't masturbate, go FU(K a girl
05-21-2011, 04:17 AM #17
.JiampyPotter
So Much Win.
Nice, you should add how to not letting you parents know :carling:
05-21-2011, 04:19 AM #18
Default Avatar
Sync
Guest
nut inside your bitch no trace! oh wait :O
05-21-2011, 05:00 AM #19
.Kane.
Banned
Originally posted by Noob
nut inside your bitch no trace! oh wait :O


That's difficult when most of NGU have been inside for most of their lives. =D

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