Post: Let's hear all your jokes
Options
05-25-2011, 11:45 AM
#1
willz360@yahoo
Grunt
The cannibals tell them that they have a chance to live on this island without being eaten so long as they pass the "Ordeal of Fruit", the survivor accepts the challenge with little pondering and the Cannibals send the pair off to individually collect one hundred pieces of fruit each and then report back to them.
The first survivor returns with one hundred grapes and cannibals instruct him to shove each grape into his anus without wincing or laughing or he will be killed on the spot.
However just as the first grape reaches his butt hole he bursts out laughing.
The cannibals ask why he is laughing and he replies "I'm sorry, it's just that my friend is collecting pineapples!"
06-01-2011, 08:57 AM
#11
Monkey_With_Fury
Do a barrel roll!
06-01-2011, 09:59 AM
#12
riches
Banned
Q) Wanna Hear a joke?
a) Womens rights.
a) Womens rights.
Originally posted by another user
Two boys are playing down by the stream, and one of the boys sees a naked lady bathing in the river. the boy runs off so his friend follows, his friend asked him why he ran off, the boy replied "My mum said if you look at naked lady you turn to stone, and i felt something going hard down there"
Originally posted by another user
80,000 blondes are gathered for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "18!" Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."
So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "90?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "4?". Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream ... Give her another chance! Give her another chance!
A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "18!" Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."
So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "90?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "4?". Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream ... Give her another chance! Give her another chance!
06-01-2011, 10:47 AM
#13
Highschools
Guest
06-01-2011, 10:55 AM
#14
i--DanieL_
Edgier than an octagon
The following 4 users say thank you to i--DanieL_ for this useful post:
06-03-2011, 05:17 PM
#15
willz360@yahoo
Grunt
06-04-2011, 10:27 AM
#17
Sempiternal
Previously uG~ Wounded
06-04-2011, 10:36 AM
#18
clitwub
Everybody Loves CLIT!!!!
Paddy and Murphy wanted to go on the lash, but only have 1 euro...
so Paddy comes up with an idea. they go to a butchers and buy a sausage.
Paddy says "right, what we'll do, is order 2 beers, drink them fast, then ill put the sausage thought the fly in my trousers and you get on your knees and suck it!
Murphy agrees, and they go into the first bar, order 2 beers, drink them quickly, then Murphy starts to suck the sausage out of Paddy's flies. the bartender goes mental and kicks them out!!
they carry on until the 10th pub and then Murphy says "i cant do this no more im exhausted and im pi$$ed, and my knees are hurting from kneeling on the floor all the time"
Paddy replies "You're exhausted?!?!? I'm still trying to remember which pub i lost the sausage in.......
---------- Post added at 11:31 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:28 AM ----------
A bird I've been seeing doesn't want to see me anymore because of my obsession with anal sex.
I really wrecked my chances with her, absolutely rectum...
---------- Post added at 11:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 AM ----------
Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that, even though he's happy in Manchester, he does Miss Wales occasionally.
---------- Post added at 11:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:33 AM ----------
Andy Murray is a proud sponsor of viagra,
For people who can only achieve a semi
---------- Post added at 11:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:35 AM ----------
There were 3 men in a room
The first man says"i have the smallest hand in the world"
The second man says "i have the smallest head in the world"
And the third man says i have the smallest penis in the world"
So they all went off to the guiness book of world records to see if it was true
The first man returns and says "i actually do have the smallest hand in the world"
The second man returns and says "i actually do have the smallest head in the world"
Finally the third guy returns and says "who the **** is justin bieber"
so Paddy comes up with an idea. they go to a butchers and buy a sausage.
Paddy says "right, what we'll do, is order 2 beers, drink them fast, then ill put the sausage thought the fly in my trousers and you get on your knees and suck it!
Murphy agrees, and they go into the first bar, order 2 beers, drink them quickly, then Murphy starts to suck the sausage out of Paddy's flies. the bartender goes mental and kicks them out!!
they carry on until the 10th pub and then Murphy says "i cant do this no more im exhausted and im pi$$ed, and my knees are hurting from kneeling on the floor all the time"
Paddy replies "You're exhausted?!?!? I'm still trying to remember which pub i lost the sausage in.......
---------- Post added at 11:31 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:28 AM ----------
A bird I've been seeing doesn't want to see me anymore because of my obsession with anal sex.
I really wrecked my chances with her, absolutely rectum...
---------- Post added at 11:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 AM ----------
Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that, even though he's happy in Manchester, he does Miss Wales occasionally.
---------- Post added at 11:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:33 AM ----------
Andy Murray is a proud sponsor of viagra,
For people who can only achieve a semi
---------- Post added at 11:36 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:35 AM ----------
There were 3 men in a room
The first man says"i have the smallest hand in the world"
The second man says "i have the smallest head in the world"
And the third man says i have the smallest penis in the world"
So they all went off to the guiness book of world records to see if it was true
The first man returns and says "i actually do have the smallest hand in the world"
The second man returns and says "i actually do have the smallest head in the world"
Finally the third guy returns and says "who the **** is justin bieber"
The following user thanked clitwub for this useful post:
06-05-2011, 07:05 PM
#19
leeneedshelp
Bounty hunter
Originally posted by Cammmmy.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
haha funny
Copyright © 2026, NextGenUpdate.
All Rights Reserved.
