Post: Jokes
08-19-2008, 09:33 PM #1
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Ok guys, post any jokes you want here but don't use offensive language. I'll start.

A brunette and a blonde watch TV. The news begin playing while showing that a guy is about to jump of a building. The brunette makes a bet with the blonde. If the guy jumps off the building brunette wins. The guy jumps off. Brunette says:
"Ok, you win because i already watched these news before"
Blonde: "No, you win. I too watched these news but i didnt know that guy was that stupid to jump off again!"
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The following 2 users say thank you to Lordafi for this useful post:

Batman™, BigTyme
08-26-2008, 04:23 AM #11
How to busy an NGU'er for 4 days?

Write Playboy---> on each side of a piece of paper.
08-26-2008, 06:13 AM #12
1- your mom is so fat that when she jumps for joy, she gets stuck
2- alpha kenny one---> i'll f**k anyone
08-26-2008, 06:50 AM #13
A©ID
< ^ > < ^ >
pretty funny jokes Happy
08-27-2008, 09:27 AM #14
MNWild2theEnd
Do a barrel roll!
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. thats the best i got
08-27-2008, 02:36 PM #15
i have a few

ok so a blonde got a flat tire when she was driving so she pulled over to the side of the road a few minutes late a cop pulls up and say why do you have naked mnnicans around your car, the blonde sipmly replied well i got a flat tire so i put out my flasher so no one would hit me

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
08-28-2008, 02:39 AM #16
NGUWhitey
NGU's OG
all the jokes are funny lol hahah
08-28-2008, 06:16 AM #17
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."
08-28-2008, 07:08 AM #18
nz_punjabi_unit
Do a barrel roll!
B4 Marriage
He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 Wait
She: do u want me 2 leave?
He: no! dont even think abt it
She: do u luk me?
He: ofcourse! over n ove(...)im not dat kind of person!
She: can i trust u?
He: Yes..
She: Darling!
After marrige...

Simply read from bottom to tha top
09-02-2008, 03:32 AM #19
RICHIE209
March 6, 2011.
ok so one day im walking and this guy whipped his dick out right in front of me. lmao end of jOke LAUGH FOOL!

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