Post: Jokes
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08-19-2008, 09:33 PM
#1
Lordafi
Banned
A brunette and a blonde watch TV. The news begin playing while showing that a guy is about to jump of a building. The brunette makes a bet with the blonde. If the guy jumps off the building brunette wins. The guy jumps off. Brunette says:
"Ok, you win because i already watched these news before"
Blonde: "No, you win. I too watched these news but i didnt know that guy was that stupid to jump off again!"
03-22-2009, 03:14 AM
#30
LordOfSpoon™
Banned
03-23-2009, 11:10 AM
#31
friezzie
Big Daddy
a blonde walks into a electronics store and asks the salesman how much a television is.
Then the salesman says, sorry we dont sell to blondes,'
so the next day the blonde comes back wearing a wig and asks how much the tv is
the salesman says, sorry we dont sell to blondes.
then the blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde
then the salesman says, thats no TV, its a microwave
Then the salesman says, sorry we dont sell to blondes,'
so the next day the blonde comes back wearing a wig and asks how much the tv is
the salesman says, sorry we dont sell to blondes.
then the blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde
then the salesman says, thats no TV, its a microwave
04-12-2009, 02:24 AM
#35
Grimsley33
On Top of the Game
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
-----------------------------------------------
Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
-----------------------------------------------
Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"
06-03-2009, 04:39 PM
#36
AK47-Alt
Banned
Just got told by a black American on Xbox Live that I got "Owned".
I found great pleasure in educating him about the American slave trade, and that my ancestors used to own his ancestors, literally.
and....
I can't wait to get the motion sensing camera for the Xbox360.
My Nan's got Parkinson's and I bet she'll be ****ing awesome at Track & Field
I found great pleasure in educating him about the American slave trade, and that my ancestors used to own his ancestors, literally.
and....
I can't wait to get the motion sensing camera for the Xbox360.
My Nan's got Parkinson's and I bet she'll be ****ing awesome at Track & Field
06-03-2009, 05:35 PM
#37
i H e a r n y x
Gym leader
1) A old man and his dauter both walk into a bar on entering the old man starts to stare at a teenager with multi coloured spiky hair the teenager says to the old man whats up old geeser never done anything horoic in your life? The old man replied i got stoned once and f**ked a pecock and was wondering if you were my son. 
2) 3 men went camping and stayed in a tent next to each other. After the first night the man on the left woke up and said "I had a really wierd dream last night, i dreamt that i was be tossed off" The man on the right woke up and said "Thats funny i had the same dream"
the man i the middle woke upand said "Well I dreamt i was sking".
2nd one made up
^
+Rep
2) 3 men went camping and stayed in a tent next to each other. After the first night the man on the left woke up and said "I had a really wierd dream last night, i dreamt that i was be tossed off" The man on the right woke up and said "Thats funny i had the same dream"
the man i the middle woke upand said "Well I dreamt i was sking".
2nd one made up
^ +Rep
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